The LEP Report
by HarryPotterIsMyHomeBoy
Summary: This is a newspaper issued days after the Holly Short kidnapping. See what a fairy newspaper is like. (A little odd, yes, but just rr!)


**LEPrecon Officer Kidnapped By Human Boy**

_OPAL LONG _

_OF THE LEP REPORT_

Captain Holly Short of the LEPrecon was taken hostage by 12-year-old Artemis Fowl after the unfortunate troll incident. Short, the first girl ever in Recon, was in the process of performing the Ritual, when she was shot by a dart gun. The gun was fired by Fowl's own bodyguard, only known as Butler. Commander Root of LEP has been working with the help of the centaur, Foaly, in charge of the fairy intelligence for the LEP to free Short. The LEP has already messed up on this mission numerous times, once practically blowing up the commander. They recently sent in a convict by the name Mulch Diggums, a kleptomaniac dwarf. Diggums has been arrested over twenty times, making a total of three hundred years in and out of prison. Root sent Diggums to break into the house and rescue Short from Fowl. So far, there has only been one casualty, Mulch Diggums. When this mission failed, the new Acting Commander Cudgeon was appointed, and will send in a troll to see if he can do the job. This could be a last resort before the LEP launches their bio – bomb.

**Rogue Troll Found In Small Italian Village**

_SYLVIE TURNER _

_OF THE FAIRY DAILY _

_MARTINA FRANCA, ITALY _–

The LEP tracked down a fully-grown bull troll in a restaurant. Captain Holly Short was on the mission, and she swooped in with her Dragonflies wings without a formal invitation to sustain the troll, who was thrashing wildly from the light. Inside the restaurant it was described as pandemonium. Holly tried to stun the animal, but this just aggravated him. When the troll threw a table at Short, her gas tank was thrown from her back and burst into flames when it came in contact with the candles in the room. As chaotic as it was in the restaurant, Short managed to blind, set on fire, and stun the beast, but in the process she was seen by the humans, her shield failing. Short made everybody unconscious, and had turned the restaurant to shambles, much worse than the Hamburg incident that she had also screwed up with. Soon after, the retrieval showed up and they cleaned up the mess and took care of the troll. Short was then sent by Commander Root to perform the Ritual, after that is another story.

**Artemis Fowl **

_ROBERT GUILD _

_OF THE RITUAL PRESS_

Artemis Fowl, 12-year-old human boy kidnapper has surprised many with his knowledge of the fairies. How could he know about the Ritual, unless a fairy has told him? Fowl claims that Captain Holy Short revealed all our secrets to him, and that a powerful truth serum, sodium pentathol, had been used to coax this sacred information out of her. Fowl lives in Fowl Manor with his sick depressed mother. Butler, his bodyguard, is always at his side, and Butlers younger sister Juliet seems to be the one looking after the prisoner, Short. When around Short, they all wear reflective sunglasses to block from the _mesmer_, another example of Fowl's knowledge of the fairies. Artemis Fowl's father left, and is the cause for Mrs. Fowl's illness. She is oblivious to the fact that there is an elf in her house. Fowl has foiled every one of the LEP's plans to rescue Short, but now with the troll that Acting Commander Cudgeon has sent in, they might have outwitted him at last. Still, LEP seems to be playing right into his hands in everything they have tried.

**Entire Retrieval Squad Taken Out At Fowl Manor**

_REGGIE SNOW_

_OF THE LEP REPORT_

_FOWL MANOR – _

When Commander Root of LEP sent LEPretrieval One to Fowl Manor he intended for them to take Captain Short also of the LEP, a Recon officer, and leave without the attention of the Fowl's. Not only did he get their attention, he also got the whole retrieval squad taken out. It turns out, Fowl used Short's helmet to locate the shielded fairies, and Butler when outside to where the fairies were with the helmet fitted to his head. Once he got to the fairies, he used his own power to knock out all of them. None of the squad's members were seriously hurt. 12 retrieval men were sent in, Butler took out all of them. The last one standing was Corporal Grub Kelp, in an interview with him he states, "It could have been so much worse, I'm just glad that everyone was okay. I feel that I am a hero for not giving in to the Mud Person." Well, Kelp may think he is a hero, but from other interviews he is described in other ways. _See LEPretrieval Interviews B4._

**Pole: **

Should the LEP be sending convicts such as Mulch Diggums to rescue a recon officer?

Yes - 21

No - 62

Undecided - 17

_NEXT POLE_ –

Is switching acting commanders a good idea this late into the case?

_Call 23-526-7483 ext. 405 _

If you have any information about the Holly Short case, please contact _23-526-7483 ext. 407 _

**Child Injured While Flying A Hummingbird Z7**

_OPAL LONG_

_OF THE LEP REPORT_

_ROSA, REDDING – _

Penelope David was just zooming around with her brothers Michael and Hecter when her Hummingbird Z7 started to malfunction. As the best model of wings in the world, the Hummingbird isn't supposed to jerk the rider around until they fall off. That's exactly what happened with Penny. One minute she was playing Airble with her brothers, the next she was laying in the grass on her back. She was only slightly injured, a broken collarbone, broken leg, broken wrist, and crushed elbow. The doctor says that it should all heal in about a week. In an interview with Penny's brothers, Hecter, 14, states, "Her wings just started jerking, and Michael and I tried to control them but they were to strong." Michael, 16, agrees. "It was like someone had been messing with them, they were possessed." The parents, the famous Franksey and Julis David, don't seem to agree. They are trying to file a lawsuit against the Hummingbird Z7 manufacturers. Julis was interviewed and said, "My little Penny was hurt not in an accident, it was the company that sold us those wings fault!" Franksey added, "Those manufacturers better not show their faces around here or they will only come out of here to go to the grave!" For more about this case, visit our website at FW.LEPreport or write to us at:

The LEP Report,

32 Riley Tunnel,

Haven City, 18039

**National Bologia Airble Tournament Standings **

_DARWIN SCRAPER_

_OF THE AIRBLE LETTER_

_BOLOGIA – _

Yesterday the National Bologia Airble Tournament kicked off. Today the teams played in a series of crucial games and teams were eliminated. As the top team in the country last year, Sutten played against Daglen, Fremen played Redding, Yullok played Hana, and Rona played Jerom. These teams are the eight who won out of the 16 Airble teams in the country. Out of these games that were played at different times today, the winners of the games were Sutten, Redding, Yullok, and Jerom. Tomorrow Sutten will play Yullok, and Jerom will play Redding in the semi-finals of the Bologia Tournament.

_Starting 16_

(Sutten vs. Tamle) Sutten

(Sylves vs. Daglen) Daglen

(Victor vs. Fremen) Fremen

(Redding vs. Ellit) Redding

(Yullok vs. Tutt) Yullok

(Aoble vs. Hana) Hana

(Gwedden vs. Rona) Rona

(Dertos vs. Jerom) Jerom

_(teams in who won last years top eight listed first, challenging teams second)_

_Final Four_

Sutten vs. Yullok ?

Redding vs. Rona ?

We will update this column every day until the end of this suspenseful tournament._ See "Airble" B6_

Airble _Continued from A7_

The Sport of Airble has been around for centuries. Airble is a cross between air and marble, because it is a game that is played in the air with marbles. There are 8 players on the field at a time, 4 on each team. They are lined up in a diamond formation, and they have to push the marble to the other side using their marble wands but not letting the marble touch them or any part of their body. The marble wand is a thin, long, rounded piece of metal that only is capable of one spell, to push the marble back to the other side of the shot and into the other teams end zone. The shot is what the field is called, and it is shaped like an octagon, and there is a pit, or a bubble, at the other teams end that you shoot at. There are 32 marbles in the shot at one time, all different colored. The person at the end near the pit guards the pit, the 2 people in front of him are the defenders, and the person in front of him plays offense. One match is made up of 16 sectors, in which you must change all team members. One team is usually made up of 48 players who rotate in. In professional Airble, there can be up to 64 players. For more on Airble, visit our website at; _FW.LEPreport_


End file.
